I said goodbye to my last campers of the summer almost exactly 4 days ago and have been “home” for 42 hours. Yes, I am enjoying seeing my family and friends and getting things done for myself but I feel quite empty. What is all of this free time? I slept in till 10:30 today, what? Why are my meal times so quiet? Why does no one start singing with me when a start a camp song? where is the Enthusiasm?
But the biggest concern of mine is how self centered my non camp life is. I can fill an entire day of only thinking of myself. At camp I only thought about my campers: if they were safe, if they were enjoying themselves and what they were learning. It was normal for me to not brush my hair until rest hour. But I now know that life if much more fulfilling when I am not living for myself, not even trying to fill up my own life but completely focused on others. In turn, I am filled up by the love of others. I just want to love and help others any way I can; thats it, thats what we are called to do.
Yesterday, I began reading Radical by David Platt and he talked about the passage in Luke where Jesus basically scares away people from the church because he calls for followers to give their all.
Luke 9 57- 62The Cost of Following Jesus:
57 As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”
58 Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”
59 He said to another man, “Follow me.”
But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”
60 Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”
61 Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.”
62 Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God
After reading this I began to think how I was completely willing to give my all to my campers this summer but I did not know if I would give my all to God. Plus, God wants more than what I deem my all because only he nows what I am fully capable of. Why is it so hard for me to give everything I have to someone who died to have a relationship with me? that is kind of ridiculous.
I want to turn my relationship with God into basically a ginormous exponential version of my relationship with Camp. Camp is Love and Love is Camp but also God is Love and Love is God.
Time to go all in! (which reminds me of this epic Facing the Giants scene)
So its time for me to give God my very best, my entire new found camp self!