I am at this weird moment. I am done with my senior show, my undergraduate career is basically fine' except for the institutional custom of walking across the stage. It is a month before my transitory summer job and 4 months until I move onto grad school. I feel as if I am at the end of the road, yet not at a crossroads. I know what I am doing next but not what I am doing now.
For the past 2 weeks I have watched a teenage girls lunch table worth of Gossip Girl. (Do Blair and Chuck ever get back together!? Don't spoil it, I am about to start season 4.) I do not want to waste this strange month of nothing yet most ideas of busy body activities either seem trivial or not worth it for only a couple weeks.
I have begun thinking about these ends, and then the eventual next step, beginnings. I worked and worked in high school to get to college, then I had a transition summer. I worked and worked in college to get to grad school, then a transition summer. Next I will work and work in grad school to get a job and then a transition.
Transitions seem pointless and disconcerting. Its like the sixth book of Harry Potter, full of information but otherwise a bit dull. What am I supposed to do with these blank pages in my planner? More importantly, what does God want me to do with them?
My immediate response is Rest. A novel concept but not fulfilling.
This may be my last transition month for a long long time. The ends and beginning terrify me and leave me looking for the next road sign.